DR.STEVEN UGAMA Ph.D (UNN), MNIM, FCA
>>> Wow! You’re a doctor and a PhD? Pretty impressive.
Financial Controller & Contract Award Committee Chairman (NEPA)
Tel/Fax: 234-1-7599947
Email;steveugama@gawab.com
ATTN:PRESIDENT/CEO
>>> While I’m not the President, I sure appreciate your e-mail.
Dear Sir,
>>> Err…Madame, you mean.
REQUEST FOR URGENT/CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP.
I hope this letter will not embarrass you since we have not had any previous
communication.
>>> I’m not easily embarrassed. Do go on.
I got your reference from your country`s trade department under
private enquiry that is not related to my aim of writing you this letter and
went further to have it confirmed by the Nigeria Exports Promotion
Council(NEPC).
>>> Sounds important.
I am DR.STEVEN UGAMA the Financial Controller and Contract Award Committee
Chairman in the National Electric Power Authority (NEPA) in Lagos, Nigeria. My
colleagues have assigned me to seek for assistance of a reliable foreigner
through whom we can transfer the sum of US$38,600,000.00 (Thirty-Eight Million,
Six Hundred Thousand U.S. Dollars) which arose from the deliberate over-inflated
contract value for the General expansion of the Kanji Dam Hydro Station on
behalf of National Electric Power Authority (NEPA) for increased energy
generation in Nigeria and some other West African countries.
>>> That’s quite a bit of money. I’d be happy to take it off your hands. Yeah, free grad school education!
The contract was awarded in 1998 during the General Sani Abacha regime to a foreign firm with the consideration of 10% commission agreement on the total contract value of
US$386,000,000. The contract has been completed and the contractor has long
been paid, we are now left with this US$38,600,000 representing the 10% (our own
share) as agreed presently in the Federal Government's account. The Current
favourable political/economic climate in this country now presented an
opportunity for this money to be transferred out of the country.
>>> Dr. Ugama, PhD., you’re losing me here.
Our contact in the Federal Ministry of Finance have given us a go ahead advice
to begin the process of the remittance, hence we have set in motion the
machinery for the take off of this transaction and further action will commence
immediately we hear from you.
>>> “Set in motion the machinery”…?
Please note that as soon as the Federal Ministry
of Finance grants approval for the remittance of the money into your bank
account they shall inform your bank and accompany the transfer with legal
documents showing that the money is legal and legitimately acquired in the
Federal Republic of Nigeria through the execution of government contract(s).
>>> This is good. Sounds on the level.
We have agreed that after the transfer of the money into your account, you shall
be entitled to 30% of the total amount transferred, while the remaining 70% will
be for me and my colleagues. We decided to give you this percentage in order to
motivate you and also to let you feel satisfied at the end of this transaction.
>>> Woo hoo! So I get, like, a couple million bucks? Hell yeah, I’m satisfied with this transaction!
The nature of your business is not particularly relevant for the success of this
transaction. All we require is your willingness to co-operate and assurance
that our own share will be given to us when this money is transferred into your
account. All necessary precautions have been taken to ensure a no risk
situation on the sides of both parties and it is believed that the conclusion of
this transaction will not last more than 8 working days.
>>> 8 days? Works for me.
Since we have no knowledge of business, our plan is to invest this money into
Real Estate, Stocks and we can also invest in some other profitable businesses
in your country based on your advice because many of our years has been spent as
civil servant, and we may likely resign from government service to private
business after this money is transferred into your account.
>>> You were a civil servant? I thought you were a double Dr.
Please note that this business is strictly confidential and must not be disclosed to a third
party. This is necessary to avoid disclosure that may jeopardise the
transaction.
>>> Crap! I already blabbed about it on my Blog.
Finally, if this proposal is acceptable to you, or if you have any questions, feel free to contact me immediately on the above Email (steveugama@gawab.com) Tel number 234-1-7760497 or Fax number 234-1-7599947, you should also send to me your private e-mail address, telephone number and fax number for easy and confidential communication. I will oblige you with further
information if so required.
>>> I’ll get right on that.
Best Regards,
DR.STEVEN UGAMA
>>> Hugs from Jersey,
Dr. TJ, MA, PhD, esq., LoC (Lover of Cheese)
..very good...have received the same email and didn't enjoy it - 'til now :^)...
Posted by: billy | September 23, 2003 at 05:50 PM
Really, really funny!
Posted by: Parkway Rest Stop | September 23, 2003 at 06:06 PM
Thank you!
I secretly *love* these e-mails. It's the only time I welcome Spam.
Billy: Love the Blog! Consider me a fan. I'm adding you to the official Blogroll.
Posted by: TJ | September 23, 2003 at 08:34 PM
Well bugger me!!! That figure of £38,600,000 sure rings a bell!! Even though it's in US bucks, it translates quite nicely into sterling!!
Only odd thing, my communication's not a doctor-doctor joke, but a geezer called Joe Garba. Ah well, just a coincidence.
The thing is, my research suggests that that so-called Kanji dam would appear to have been built by beavers. Are they appear of the extent to which they have been ripped off?? Those little rodents(?) are going to be soooo pissed off when they find out!!
Meanwhile, in a country that exports 99% of its oil, why would they go to such as expense to build a hydro-electric doohicky when they just have to burn some oil??
Makes you wonder, don't it?
Keep 'em coming: brightens my day.
PS: better tell Joe he's been rumbled before I receive the imnevitable demand for $4200 to be sent my MoneyGram for 'legal documents'!!!!!
Posted by: Denis | May 28, 2005 at 09:52 AM
whoops, I got so excited I spelt 'aware' A P P E A R.
Oh well, you got the gist.
Peace!
Posted by: Denis | May 28, 2005 at 09:55 AM
Great post! It was very well researched and I enjoyed it very much.
Posted by: Portable Greenhouses | March 21, 2009 at 10:42 AM