Another co-worker’s kid is selling something. That makes the 6th this month. So far, I’ve purchased chocolate, magazine subscriptions, trail mix and more cashews than you can shake a stick at.
I guess it’s a necessary evil. When I was a kid, my mom was forced to make the rounds at her office. I guess what goes around comes around.
The thing is: The stuff is is by no means inexpensive. Back in the day, you used to be able to buy a handful of chocolate bars then call it a day.
It’s not that I begrudge the students the money. I would happily make a donation but the thing is: Do I really need Dreamsicles wrapping paper at $8.75 a roll? Apparently donations are no longer accepted. Instead you’re forced to buy plastic snowman ornaments or Precious Moments figurines.
Just got another e-mail from the infamous and elusive Minger. Here's another quiz. The results are kind of interesting.
NOTE: Don't scroll down to the answers until you've completed the questions!
Inside the candy store, you find rows and rows of the familiar candies, chocolate bars, chewing gums, and sweets from your youth. Some are stacked in organized shelves, some are loose in baskets and jars. What candy do you pick first, and why did you choose it? (Give the full reason behind your choice.)
While you're wandering the store making selections, you notice that outside a group of children look as though they're getting ready to enter the store. How many children actually come in?
You make your purchases and go home with a bag of candy. But when you open the bag, you see that the shopkeeper has added some free extra candies as a special treat for you. How many extras did you get?
You've been thinking about giving the candy you bought as a gift to someone. To whom, if anyone, would you give it?
The candy theme harkens back to the time in your life when you could count on an occasional treat and even expect to be spoiled. This scenario reveals your expectations of others and your level of dependence.
1. What did you choose first from the almost endless selection. More important, why did you chose it? The reasoning behind your choice actually shows what you desire most from other people.
If you thought something like "I'd take the one with the secret toy surprise in the pack" you're likely the type who responds well to people bearing gifts. (And, turning that around, you might not be so positive toward those who turn up empty-handed.) Beware of those becoming too materialistic. There's more to life than trading cards, iron-ons, and secret decoder rings.
If you said you chose the candy because you remember how good it tasted or it made you feel nostalgic, you are hungry for the same attention and affection you received from your mother as a child. Men, if you answered this way, you may be looked on as a something of a mama's boy.
If you made your decision based on external factors like "I liked the wrapper" or "It looked cool," you're the type of person who makes judgements based on appearance alone. Just remember, it's the candy you eat, not the wrapper.
2. The number of children who entered the store while you shopped represents the number of people in your life you need to depend on. We all need support, whether it's actual physical assistance in the work we do or just encouragement from the people we love. You can't go through life completely on your own. But it's also true that relying too much on others makes it difficult to achieve personal autonomy.
Most people imagine between one and five children entering the store. People who said more than five children came into the store still have a way to go before they reach an adult level of independence. But those who said no children come in might need to reconsider the way they look at the world.
3. The number of free treats you got reveals how much you still depend on your mother. The amount of special attention you actually want from your mother. Most adults say one or two pieces. If answered ten or twenty, you may need to think about spreading your wings a little more and flying away from the nest.
4. To whom would you give the candy? The person you chose is a person you would like to be able to take care of someday or have become dependent on you. Did you say you gave it to your parents? Your wish may be a reality sooner than you think.
Was it your partner or a person you secretly like? It might be fun taking care of them for a day or two, but that could wear thin.
Or did you say you wouldn't give the candy to anyone? You prefer a life with few attachments, asking little from the world and expecting the same in return. That solitary approach means you may never have to share with anyone, but it also means you may never have anyone to share with.
This year’s Joe is a find – a well-mannered, self-effacing, oh-so-cute, Catholic Texan. However, the honesty of the European women makes the show a little less interesting for me. I miss the two-faced “Me care that you’re a millionare? I’d love you if you were a dirt farmer!” backbiting my American sisters dished out.
Then, I passed up nice and early to prepare for my 5 a.m. wake-up call.
Now I’m back in beautiful NJ and trying to play quite a bit of catch up.
Me: AAAAAAAAAGH! (Pause) (Completely Back to Normal) Oh. Hi. What's up?
Other Person (Usually J): Oh, okay, hi. So anyway...
You know how most people can feel when someone is looking at them. I never do. People can stand at my cubicle for minutes waiting to talk to me. I don't even know they're there, until they clear their throat or something.
Yeah, this is all good, but I get totally freaked out when I turn around and someone I don't expect to be is suddenly in my field of vision. I guess I just don't notice them.
This morning J walked in the office as I was using the computer and I almost had a heart attack.
Do you think people will get wierded out if I ask them to wear a cow bell or something?
Beyond a few friends and some extra curricular activities, high school for me had been a relatively unpleasant experience. I thought college would be four years of the same drudgery. Needless to say, I didn’t look forward to the start of my freshman year.
My college was (and still is) a very good, very teeny school in Pennsylvania. When you close your eyes and picture what “college” should look like, you’ll see this place. When I arrived on campus to begin my first year, the sun was shining and bright flowers bloomed all over the limestone-studded, beautifully manicured campus. God, I was miserable.
Freshman get to campus approximately 3-4 days before all the other students and have, what is not-so-creatively referred to as, “Freshman Orientation.” During this time, before the rest of the student body gets there, freshman have a chance to acclimate themselves to the surroundings, learn about the school and play more than your share of “Get to Know You” games. It was during one of these miserable games that I first saw Sarah.
She struck me as very confident. I was also terribly envious of her gorgeous head of red hair.
We had to go around in a circle and say where we’re from and tell a little bit about ourselves. It was pretty tame until the circle came around to Sarah.
“Hi, I’m Sarah! I’m from (Name of Hometown)…”
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that the name of her hometown is a slang word for female genitals.
Yep. That girl will be hard to forget.
The Bathroom Incident
Sarah and I didn’t really get along that well.
It wasn’t that we disliked each other, it was that we ran in different crowds. I was slow to start on the party scene. (Believe me, I made up for this in later years.) She went out all the time, sometimes with this weird girl on our floor who would have sex – almost nightly -- to Pink Floyd’s “The Wall.”
The problem was that, since we were both active in drama, we kept bumping into each other -- everywhere. Most often this would be at The Arts House, a kind of fraternity house for all the artsy people on campus.
As freshman girls, we were showered with attention and offered free-flowing cups of the Arts House drink of choice – Mad Dog and Sprite. (For those unfamiliar, Mad Dog is the kind of thing whinos swig out of paper bags.) Over the course of the next few weeks, the same guy - a step aerobics doing, comedy improv performing economics major - began to show an interest in the both of us.
I was decidedly smitten. Sarah was all ho-hum. [She had a boyfriend back in (Female Genitals).]
So, when I found out about the two timin’ man, I decided to channel my Jersey roots, put on my snarl face and challenge Sarah to a girl-on-girl Smackdown!
Her roommate told me she was in the bathroom, so I went in and saw her standing at the sink.
I readied myself for the big confrontation.
Me: (Gathering up my courage) So, did you go out with (Name of Guy)?
Sarah: Yeah, I guess.
Me: I did too.
Sarah: (Surprised) Mmm…Okay…?
Me: Well, I don’t like that.
Me: (Gushing) Cool. I’m glad we had this talk.
Sarah: Oh, okay, that’s good.
Me: Talk to you later. Bye!
From there, we just kind of started to bond. We liked singing show tunes at the top of our lungs. We both skipped aerobics class all the time. (To date, it’s the only class I ever failed. Did I mention I also managed to do it two times in a row?) We loved chowing down on thin-crust pizza and gossiping about our adventures the night before.
A few years ago, I told Sarah that it was the bathroom incident that changed our friendship.
“Um…okay. (Pause) TJ, what the hell are you talking about?”