I thought I would share with you all my little open letter to Tom Cruise.
Dear Mr. Cruise,
I like you. You seem like a nice enough guy. Also, you’re a fine actor. (Just to clarify, I’m talking about Born on the Fourth of July and Magnolia not, say, some of your more recent flicks like The Last Samurai and Mission Impossible II.)
So, I hope you’ll heed my request:
Kindly stop trying to fool the public into thinking you have a romance with twentysomething Katie Holmes.
Stop staging corny “We’re So Into Each Other” photos for the press.
Mr Cruise, I am so on to you.
Trust me. You’re big box office. Spielberg-directed War of the Worlds will make a crap-load of money. You don’t need to stage some elaborate romantic charade to get media coverage. You’re Tom Cruise, for God’s sake!
I only allowed myself to follow your last romance with Penelope Cruz because I thought it would be fun if you got married and she hyphenated: Penelope Cruz-Cruise. Hee!
In any case, stop the insanity. Date who you want, not who your publicist tells you to. Or lay around at home counting your money. Your call.
Very truly yours,
(Photo Credit: Marco Iacobucci / EPA via Sipa Press)