Thermy & The Safety Dance

Against strict orders from Dr. P. (and me!), Sciatica-ridden J went out grocery shopping last night.

As I unloaded the groceries, bitched intermittently and fed him meds, I busted out laughing when I read one of the bags.

Our local supermarket typically emblazons all of its bags with a bright, red store logo. Instead, the managers have decided to scrap the logo and get out a valuable public service message sponsored by the USDA Meat and Poultry Council.

The bag features Thermy™ a happy, meat thermometer wearing a chef’s hat. Thermy is pictured doing a little jig and mopping his sweaty “brow.” He (I’m assuming it’s a he) has this to say:

”It’s safe to bite when the temperature is right!”

The text of the bag then goes on to talk about proper meat temperature, encourages store patrons to use a meat thermometer and lists the phone number and e-mail address for the “USDA Meat and Poultry Hotline.”

Huh?

Call me crazy, but I think we’ve become a far too safety-conscious culture. Everyday it seems there are more and more rules to follow and thousands more warnings than there used to be.

For example, the above-mentioned Thermy bag also had this rather menacing warning printed in bold letters on the side of the bag:

WARNING: TO AVOID DANGER OF SUFFOCATION: KEEP THIS BAG AWAY FROM BABIES AND CHILDREN. DO NOT USE THIS BAG IN CRIBS, BEDS, CARRIAGES OR PLAYPENS. PLASTIC BAG COULD BLOCK NOSE AND PREVENT BREATHING. THIS BAG IS NOT A TOY.

Oh, yeah, like this would actually happen:

Me: K, congratulations on the new baby! Forget about gifts of clothes and baby products, instead I’ve decided to get you the hottest baby toy on the market right now – old plastic bags!

Are legislators really bored or is it that we all possess total disregard for our own safety (and that of our children)?

In this day and age:
- McDonald’s coffee has to carry warnings. (I mean, it’s coffee, people! Hot coffee. Come on!)
- Seatbelts must be worn under penalty of law.
- The rearview mirror of my car, in and of itself, carries four warning messages. (A mirror?)

This is only a small sampling.

It’s not that I’m against rules. I suppose I’m just against using legislation as a means to control random acts of stupidity. I’m a meat charring (Ecoli be gone!), non-smoking, seat-belt wearer. However, if there is some person out there who enjoys slugging back piping-hot coffee while gnawing on a dangerously rare steak, he/she should be allowed to do so.

Yep. Somewhere out there, a little, oily, chicken-flavored tear is running down Thermy’s face.

Comments

[billy]

...my favourite is the warning on a packet of peanuts..."warning:this product may contain traces of nut"...only traces - who'd have guessed :^)..

[Parkway Rest Stop]

How about this one?
WARNING. DO NOT MULTI-TASK WHILE USING THIS BLOW DRYER, AND WATCH WHAT THE HELL YOU ARE DOING WHEN UNPLUGGING THE DAMNED THING. FAILURE TO DO SO MAY LEAD TO REAL OR PERCEIVED ELECTROCUTION AND LOONEY TELEPHONE CALLS.

[TJ]

HAHAHAH! FABULOUS!

For real! I'm one of those dopes who actually *needs* the blow-dryer warning, lest I use it while taking a bath.

[TJ]

Billy: You are so right! I saw the same warning on my can of Planters Mixed Nuts.

"May contain nuts."

I would hope so!

[Tim]

I've got a table saw that has a warning on it... "danger, may cause injury due to contact with running blade"
Wait... You mean, this tool designed to slice through any kind of wood I can feed it, might just possibly cause an injury if I touch the spinning blade?...

[TJ]

Tim:

Ha!

I saw this one today on J's bottle of lighter fluid:

"Keep away from open flame."

Isn't that...um...the point?

[bogie]

On a Bic lighter - "Contains flammable gas." I should certainly hope so!

[Wolf Krammel]

Useful and informative resources to Security and Safety Websites.